


The Tale of the Soup-Maker

by KaranSeraph



Series: Rangers [2]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Cannibalism (Mentioned), Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-08
Updated: 2014-01-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 01:02:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaranSeraph/pseuds/KaranSeraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In Chapter 115 of Rangers Like Us, the young Orc Azuk tells a story of how Orcs invented noodles. This is the full text of his tale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tale of the Soup-Maker

In old days, Orcs used to make food from Men. They ground bones into bread, drank blood, ate roast flesh, and put skin and sinew into soup. Many Chieftains wanted to eat this food. The more Men made weapons and armor and walls, the harder it was to feed the Chieftains. One day, long ago, a Chieftain called his Soup-maker to bring him more Men-soup to eat.

The Soup-maker demanded the Hunters of the Clan give him Men. The Hunters said they were very skilled, but Men had mail and spears and were difficult to catch when on their horses.

The Hunters had only a few birds. The Soup-maker knew that he could not go tell the Chieftain it was the Hunters’ fault he could serve no soup. The Chieftain would say that he would knock off the Soup-maker’s head, put it in the soup-pot, and drink his blood from his bowl!

The Soup-maker knew making of soup, not battle, so he could not put the Hunters in the soup. He needed to quickly make something good for his Chieftain.

The Soup-maker first took the birds, knowing they alone were not good for the Chieftain, but he might make the carcasses an ingredient of his broth. The Soup-maker then went to the Bread-maker, who had mutual advantageous partnership with him. The Bread-maker said that the Hunters had failed him also and he no longer had enough bones to ground into flour for his bread. But he had tricked the Chieftain by crushing up grain they marched though, instead of bones, and baked it into bread. All he had was some buckwheat flour, but the Soup-maker could have it, in exchange for a later favor.

The Soup-maker took some of the buckwheat flour and he mixed with it what he could find nearby. He mixed water, some bird eggs and the flour until it formed a dough, as for bread. The Soup-maker knew he could not serve bread, for there was a Bread-maker already, so he tried to change the shape of the dough. He rolled some into long strands with his fingers. He pressed some flat with rocks or shaved branches. He cut the dough that was flat into strips and other shapes with his knife. He pinched the flat shapes so they appeared parts of Men, such as ears. The Soup-maker let the dough dry on lines, as he would with skin and sinew. When the dough had dried a little, he made a soup of it, adding it to water and roots and herbs Orcs find good and the meat of the birds the Hunters had killed.

When the soup was finished, the Soup-maker brought it to his Chieftain. He was fearful that the Chieftain would not like the food, but bringing nothing would have been his death for certain. The Chieftain ate of it, slurping the false skin and sinew into his mouth and then tipping broth from the bowl over his lips. He paused and said nothing, then tasted again. The Chieftain said that the soup was not so bitter as usual. The Soup-maker made his posture even more submissive and trembled. “This must come from a King!” the Chieftain said. From that day on, the Bread-maker and Soup-maker continued to serve their Chieftain food made from grain. 

And that is how Orcs invented bread and noodles.


End file.
